"Marriage is a triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." -Oscar Wilde
"Marriage is a triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." -Oscar Wilde
Matt and Janell met on the first day of the year in 2023; widely known as a fresh start for people. Some people will begin new diets, aim to achieve another goal, or plan to change another aspect in their life in some way. Neither of us had any expectations, but remained hopeful that after all we had both been through second chances were real.
We initially connected over a dating app, both finding the other attractive and finding the conversation flowed easily. After talking for 2 short days, Matt asked Janell on their first date. Sparrow coffee shop in downtown Naperville will forever be one of our favorite places, and the beginning of our story. Janell loved the confidence and strength Matt portrayed as she approached him, and Matt was relieved Janell looked as she did in her pictures. Coffee was a safe first date; it could be short and end quickly if things weren't going well, or it could be extended if we were enjoying ourselves. We walked the Riverwalk and spoke openly about life, quickly finding that our visions of the future and values in life were aligned. After 4 hours, we decided we wanted to see each other again. Despite the advise of his closest friends, Matt laid it all out there in those first few dates; Janell found his honesty endearing and loved that despite it all he still believed that people are good.
Navigating co-parenting, blending our families, and working together to build the life we both envision hasn't come without its own twists and turns. We have found that communication is our strength, an essential aspect to any relationship. On February 18, 2024, Matt took Janell to the ballet for the second time, knowing this was one of her favorite places in the world to be. Following the ballet and a drink on a balcony with the most incredible view of the city, we took a walk in Millennium Park. Matthew asked Janell to walk away from the event that was occurring there and began a speech about love being the one things that transcends time and space before getting down on one knee. Janell doesn't remember much of what Matt said, and through tear filled eyes made a promise that no matter what comes our way we will get through it together.
We believe that maybe we are supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally met the right person we would know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.
This is our second chance. Instead of going in blindly, we are coming in with eyes wide open, recognizing that a lifelong love takes a whole lot of communication, compromise, forgiveness and an understanding that perfection is fictitious. We're not the people we once were, being molded by our life experiences and bringing those lessons into our perfectly imperfect story. So many people have told us we are crazy to do this again, but we both believe that a lifelong love is possible and couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else.